Happy Thursday everyone!

I hope you guys are having an amazing week!

Today’s newsletter will be a little vulnerable…

Heartbreak and breakups are the topics for today.

You learn so many lessons in life along the way and heartbreaks are one of the biggest ones.

Breakups are one of the hardest moments you’ll go through in your lifetime, the pain is like nothing else.

If you are a boy or a girl and you are going through a breakup and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, I understand…

I am and was there, I went to places I hope no one goes through in their lifetime.

I’ve been going through a breakup myself that’s been pretty rough so I thought I write this for the ones that are going through something similar.

I want to talk about what’s been helping me survive throughout this dark period of my life so it can help others as well.

Now I’m going, to be very honest with you…

Nothing in this newsletter here today will just magically take the feeling away.

You can’t cheat the process, unfortunately.

It’s going to be incredibly heartbreaking and you’re going to feel like your world is ending, especially in the beginning.

You’re going to cry, you’re going to be depressed and filled with sadness…

But it’s just a minor setback for a major comeback.

You will make it out.

These 6 steps I lay out today are things that will help you come out a better person on the other end.

But first, let’s get into each stage of a breakup.

Stage 1: Grievance

You are going to be grieving a lot during this stage, it’s almost impossible to ignore.

It’s basically the feeling of losing a loved one in your family so you’re going to feel it.

Maybe you’ll be okay the first few weeks, but trust me it’s going to kick in.

Eventually, you’ll start to feel the absence of the other person, and when it hits it’s going to hit hard so just be ready for this stage.

Stage 2: Acceptance

During this time, you start to finally accept the reality of you guys not being together anymore and that you probably won’t be together ever again.

But you also start to accept yourself being in pain now but maybe one day you won’t be in pain anymore.

This probably comes months after but time will heal you eventually.

Hopefully, you can get to this stage quicker than expected.

It gets better but you need to live your life as if you’re never going to be with this person again.

Focus on yourself and let time do its job.

Stage 3: Metamorphosis

This is the time to really put in the work and focus on yourself.

Now that you’ve been past the 2 stages above and you’ve allowed yourself to feel the pain and not run away from it.

Focus on new hobbies, form new habits, and get yourself out there.

Do some things that you could not do when you were in a relationship.

Healthy things obviously…

Now let’s get into the 6 steps I’m currently taking to get through my breakup.

1. You Can Get Bitter Or You Can Get Better

Fall in love with getting better instead of numbing and distracting yourself.

Run towards the pain, don’t run away from it which is what most people try to do.

They go out and party, do drugs, drink, and hang around the wrong people, just so they can stop feeling and thinking about everything.

But it doesn’t work because it’s just a short-term fix.

Even if you try to draw out the pain, it’s still going to pop up no matter what you do.

Just experience it, feel it, and you’ll come out the other side a lot quicker rather if you just ran away from it.

I know it’s scary but just face your demons, your future self will thank you for it.

Grow, heal, learn, scrape your knees, break, and have ups and downs.

It’s all a part of the process.

But pick yourself back up, don’t lose yourself in it.

Hit the gym, sleep right, stay off social media, and spend more time with loved ones.

Don’t stop the good habits.

Get better, don’t get bitter.

2. Understand Timing

Right person, wrong time is a very real thing and personally, I feel like that was the case for me.

In any other dimension, my ex was my soulmate, but unfortunately, it just wasn’t our time at the moment.

Sometimes you’re just not in the right place in your life for that specific relationship.

But also in terms of yourself not being a person that’s ready for a long-lasting healthy and successful relationship.

Your emotional maturity might not be there yet.

So what you do is you let time work its magic, if it’s meant to be it will come back but for right now just focus on being better.

So when it does come, you’re ready for it this time around.

You attract what you are, so as you start to level up so will the quality of your partner and you want to be ready for that.

I know for me, this last relationship was with an amazing girl and I could not have more respect and admiration for her.

But the truth is, I wasn’t ready for it nor I was emotionally mature enough yet for it.

So all I can do is work on my internal ecosystem and let it manifest itself in the outer world.

Trust mother nature’s timing.

3. Keep An Abundant Mindset

Don’t take the red pill.

I know you’re angry, sad, and hurt.

But relationships are beautiful, love is beautiful and don’t let this darken you and change your point of view on love.

Don’t think there’s no point in relationships, whether it lasted 6 months or 6 years.

Just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean it wasn’t a beautiful experience.

That you guys both didn’t grow together, mature together, maybe learn and go through pain together.

Please keep an abundant mindset.

Love was beautiful before this relationship, and it will be after.

4. The Aftermath

A message, especially for the guys out there going through a breakup…

Don’t go f*cking anything that moves to prove your self-worth or get back at your ex.

It’s not going to make anything better nor is it going to take away the feeling.

As I said the only way you really grow from a breakup is by running towards the pain, not from it.

Go into your body and see and feel what you actually need instead.

Go to a place you’ve never been to before and start to learn more about yourself.

If you feel you're at a place to move on and start sleeping and dating other people then so be it.

But you have to ask yourself is it something that you feel is right for you to move on and grow as a person, or are you using it as a distraction?

But also respect your ex's decision as well.

If your ex moves on really quickly and decides to be intimate with someone else, don’t stress about it too much.

Hopefully, your ex knows what is best for them and what they need to heal themselves.

So don’t judge it just like they shouldn’t judge you.

Just respect their decision and move on.

5. Don’t Beg For Your Ex Back

If you get broken up with, do not beg for your ex back.

I even fell victim to this.

At the moment it gets hard, you start thinking about all these different things and you get overwhelmed.

So trust me, I get it.

But as I said time will tell if it’s meant to be or not.

Don’t beg, don’t chase, and don’t worry.

Just relax.

When you relax, things come to you.

Be with yourself and reflect on all the ways you could’ve been better.

Work on yourself hardcore.

In most cases, your ex will probably come back to you anyways.

But unfortunately, because you’ve leveled up so much at that point, you probably won’t even want them back.

6. No Contact

I left this one for last because it was the hardest one for me.

But I quickly realized that keeping in contact with my ex just did more harm to both of us.

If you are not able to control yourself and you keep breaking no contact, then I would highly suggest you block them on everything.

Because this is about you being able to move on so you don’t stay stuck in the obsessive stage after a breakup.

This one will be super hard because your mind will play games with you, but stay the course.

Don’t be the b*itch of your own brain.

Final Thoughts

I want to leave you with this…

I know it’s hard…

It’ll feel like your world is ending…

Trust me I’ve been there and I felt everything you are feeling.

Feeling that person is special, that person is the one and you’re never going to find someone like them again.

The feeling will go away in due time because as you get better, the better person you will attract.

Don’t convince yourself that you won’t find someone like that again, you will and for the most part a much better version of them.

Double and triple down on your good habits.

After my breakup the first week I was crushed, but then after I felt okay and I felt fine surprisingly.

Obviously, there was a sense of sadness and heartbreak saying goodbye to this girl I bonded with so much spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.

But I knew where I was going and I had a plan on what I was going to do after the breakup.

I didn’t have this feeling of being lost and I think that’s what saved me along the way.

This is so serious because I believe breakups after a relationship are probably the number one reason people kill themselves.

We can’t allow that to happen.

Double down on your self-improvement journey even though it feels hard and through all the negative and dark thoughts you get.

Keep one thing in mind and that’s your future self.

Feeling sorry for yourself, eating a bunch of junk food, staying out late and partying, and scrolling on TikTok all day won’t help your future self.

Visualize what would help your future self and focus on doing those things.

You’ll make it out of this and you got this, I’m rooting for you.

Question:

What has your experience been with breakups?

Leave a comment below!

P.S. I post daily tweets on frameworks, guidelines, and overall great thought's I learn from mentors ahead of me.

Drop me a follow if you haven’t already, would love to connect!

Recent Tweets: